The longest Friday Night of My Life

This Story originally appeared on my myspace... but I thought it was worth putting here too.

Well... it was a dark, cloudy friday night, one of those nights where your car is wet to the touch, but nothing hung in the air, because it hadn't rained yet, but it was going to...  It was a normal night at work, as far as I could tell except for the plans after... and the end of work came, and with it came three undisclosed accomplices to this story... it was Bombin time.

Now I have to tell this story to tell that one - One of those undisclosed accomplices, shall we call him... Zach... took a vacation over the summer to Maine, where his cousin decided to Bequeeth unto him the noble art of Bombin - This, is where your local young and stupid teenagers hit up their local Uni Mart, or in our case, Turkey Hill, and grab a whole bunch of nice, soft food such as pies, hot dogs, or perhaps old fruit, and take it to a hiding spot along a roadway, where they wait for cars and just peg the HELL out of them, and BOOK IT if they see brake lights.

So this was the plan for this friday night, and a certain individual happened to procure a large trashbag full of old Burgers, pizzas, and donuts as bombin material... and it was on..  We came to an undisclosed location that Zach knew about, but I had a bad feeling about it.  He's like DUDE... turn of the lights and just drive up the field... so we're drivin up a barely noticeable dirt path through the middle of a field, and I pull off and shut off the car... and we walk for about five minutes and settled down in a treeline, on a bank overlooking the road, a prime bombin' spot cuz you just lob it off the bank onto the cars goin about whatever they're doin...

Soooo we get to ba-bombin... and we're not doing so hot, you know, we're missing a lot and stuff, hitting wheels and nothing much... then we hear sometin comin from the left... and we're like aww... east bound east bound... and a tracker comes up the road, and all four of us just NAIL the crap out of this thing, THUD THUD THUD SPLAT right across the windshield, I myself had a slice of pizza... and we were like YEA!! YEA!!  Watch for the brake lights... nothin... they just kept on going...

So we settle down and we're bombin for probably another 15 minutes or so, but we dont see much... and then we hear this engine... And we're all lookin at each other, tryin to figure out where it is... and Zach's like dude... that's definitely a four-wheeler engine man... and we were like oh... then I was like wait a minute... what's a four wheeler doing out here, this time of the night... unless they're looking for us???

And just then rays of light can be seen heading up over the hill as the engine gets closer and we're just like OOOH HOLY GOD GRAB THE S*&% and RUN... so we all take off for the edge of the field as the lights get closer, we run, we run and we just plow into the woods through briar bushes and creeks, Jason did an accidental front flip over a fence and we all dive down as this fourwheeler searches the field...

Finally, he zips off to the other end to look for us, and we can breathe... so we all get out (They already ditched the stuff I'm told) and we are like, shaking... we are so freakin dead... Its my car... so if anything happens, they'll be after ME... so we realize our only hope is to get back to the car and bail... the woods is way to far away to get to - plus we'd have to sneak past houses - so our only hope is to go along the road and stick to the bank...

First, I was like NO WAY dude, we're dead if we go along the road, and Zach says we'll just say someone was throwin stuff at OUR car and we pulled over to chase em' down and beat some ass... I was like DUDE that is the S&%$iest story I have ever heard... but it was all we had... so we started up the road.  We're walkin... and we can see lights going through the field, searching us out... we get halfway back to the road... they still don't see us.  There's a truck driving through the field now... don't see us.  we reach the road I pulled back... start to walk back it as the lights are heading across the field in the other direction... still dont see us... we all break into a jog as they go farther away and circle around, and when they start to come back, my car comes into view, and I hear Zach say STOP RUNNING... and I was like HELL NO... my car is RIGHT THERE!!! 

So I break out into a full out sprint...
Get to the car, the lights are coming back through the field, everybody jams into the car, hearts pounding, pull out the keys, start the car, reverse... putts backward... HIT THE LIGHTS, put it in drive, slam on the gas... Nothing... putt putt putt 5 miles an hour... wtf did they do to my car??? E-Brake... no... gas... yes... Lights are coming for us... Pop the hood, Jump out, I can see the truck pulling in behind me, another vehicle pulls in from the road and guns it up it, lights right in my eyes, lift up the hood... but we're done...  its over... the cars stop, all I can see is lights...

Everyone gets out of my car... 7 or 8 of them get out of their cars... the guy pulls up on the fourwheeler, slides to a stop and says "Just what the FUCK do you think you're doin on my land???"

... ... ... Someone threw shit at us! Says Zach, and all of us are like yea yea... acting like its what we were doing... the guys like "what shit?  Oh, that shit?"  Points to my car... there on the hood and on the windshield is smeared with pizza the letters F-U-C-K-Y-O-U...

Where did that come from?  Thinkin quick I'm like Where did that come from guys?  That wasn't there when we went looking for them!  Look around... the 7 or 8 of them step in front of their headlights... and they're all HUGE... and they aren't buying it. 

I look at Zach... They're like wooo... looks like you boys are surrounded... Zach's like yea... yea... we definitely are... looks like you guys caught us red handed.  They're like yea... yea we did.  So wtf were you doing??  Zach's like being a bunch of wild and crazy teenagers... you know... Im like yea.. yea... thats right.  And they were like Yea... we were there once... but you chose the wrong people to mess with.

And we're like yea... yea we did... and it starts to dawn on my that these guys are a little drunk... more than a little drunk, they're pretty well gone... and the thing about drunk people is you either say the right thing... or you say the wrong thing - you either make them laugh, or you make them really... really angry. 

So they start talking about how they are all nighters, you can't slip anything by them... and me and Zach were just like o yea... look at this (Point to my car and how they totally nailed us) ... feeding their egos, you know... They say they close down bars... the guy on the fourwheeler says his grandpa owns this land, and people around here don't notice things - but they do... and me and zach are like oh yea... and one of them's like how much money they got on em John?  And they all laugh... at this point I can tell we're inches from getting stomped and mugged... then one of them's like You guys got any weed on you?  And I'm like no, but i know who you can get you some, and i just spit the first name that has hook ups that comes to my mind, and I;m like do you boys know ______? and They're like _____?  Hell yea, call him up! 

Apparently this guy was real close friends with them, like, should have been along that night close friends with them... and they're like yea, call him up he'll think its hilarious... and so we end up laughing about it, and we're like yea... well You guys definitely taught us a lesson...  we definitely learned our lesson on this one... im like yea, we chose the wrong boys to try anything on... I can tell you we'll think twice before we throw anything at THESE cars sitting right here... and they all laugh.... and finally the guy on the four wheeler's like If you EVER, Think about pullin this SHIT again... ... ...

Drive the whole way UP the damn driveway and TELL me wtf you're doing first, Alright?  Tell your old man I said hi, and put the sparkplugs back in your engine... and he guns it out through the field, they all get back in their cars...

We get down the road about five minutes and we're just like holy god... me and Zach realize the other two undisclosed individuals didn't say anything the WHOLE time... and we all thought we were toast... we were ready to be like we're going to get our asses beat now, aren't we?  Then somethin hits me as I put on the windshield washer fluid to wash the smeared pizza off my window... where the hell did they get pizza?  We didn't leave anything in my car...  Then it dawns on me - the one guy was driving a tracker... the tracker we NAILED the SHIT out of with everything we had right across the windshield - he must have peeled that slice of pizza off his window and smeared it all over mine!!! Hahahaha...

So we figured the guys in the tracker must have been heading up the road to uni mart or something when they got NAILED across the windshield by two donuts, a burger and a *&%ing slice of pizza hahaha... and they're like WTF?!?  So they wip out their cell phones, call the guy who lives there, and they all get their whole crew together to HUNT US DOWN hahahaha...

Then I remembered I had my lucky boxers on that night... I thought we were dead... but we escaped without so much as a black eye, and lived to laugh about it over shrimp and milkshakes at Silver Spring Diner... and got probably the best Hell-raising story in my life... but everything looked a little prettier the next Saturday since I was grateful to be alive, with money and still a car... for the second time in two weeks... too many close calls in too short a time.

An Addition to this story - Three days after it I was on 81 when a tornado went across it less than a half mile behind me... If I'd have looked out the window I probably would have seen a tornado rippin through Wertzville, but I was too busy bitching about how long it was taking me to get to work, and checking the time... at this rate I'll be lucky to hit 21

Maneater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you want more of her love,
She's a man eater make you buy cars, make you cut chords, make you fall real, fall in love
She's a Man eater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you want more of her love,
She's a man eater make you buy cars, make you cut chords, wish you'd never ever met her at all

And when she walks she walks with pass-ion,
When she talks she talks like she can handle it,
When she asks for something boy she means it,
Even if you've never ever seen it,
Everybody get your neck to crack around,
All you crazy people come n jump around.

Maneater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you want more of her love,
She's a man eater make you buy cars, make you cut chords, make you fall real, fall in love
She's a Man eater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you want more of her love,
She's a man eater make you buy cars, make you cut chords, wish you'd never ever met her at all

(you wish you'd never ever met her at all)
(you wish you'd never ever met her at all)

Maneater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you want more of her love,
She's a man eater make you buy cars, make you cut chords, make you fall real, fall in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you want more of her love,
She's a man eater make you buy cars, make you cut chords, wish you'd never ever met her at all

-Nelly Furtado

Yea she's a maneater... she don't know what she wants any more than you do

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved

Maroon 5 - She Will be Loved

Wow... life is just slamming into high gear... seems like just yesterday we got back from the beach and now here I am working every waking moment I'm not at school, which is the rest of them... if class wasn't freakin' awesome I might go insane. 

Acting class is gonna be just like drama class, so that's gonna kick ass... Oh, and get this - I'm required to audition for everything they do hahaha, not should, have to, which is awesome, plus I have to go to a ton of shows that will be awesome too, like tango fire hahaha... im lookin forward to that one. 

Our movement teacher is british... and she was talking about movement in some play where this quadrapalegic girl sits there and drools from curtain's open to curtain's close... her point was how hard that is... but I was imagining the audition... how do you land that role hahahahaha.... you're just vegging out in math class and the head of theater walks by and sees you drooling on your desk staring lifelessly at the proffessor and she's like hmm... you would be PERFECT for this role...

If the world ran on hampster power, that is, the power generated by a hampster running on the little wheel, how many hampsters would it take?  Would they generate like, five times as much if we gave them crack so they'd be like, super-insano wheel running?  Almost three years and I still don't have the answer...

Ever get that feeling that its all downhill from here?  Like... all the awesome and good things have just built up and now they're all over, so there's not much to look forward to? 

Yea... well I don't have that feeling right now.  Just got back from a kickass time at the beach of North Carolina with a bunch of pals where we sang along to every song we knew that I could possibly play or had on cpu, gorged ourselves on seafood in a beachside restaraunt, crossed things off the list of things to do before you die (4 of them to be exact i think), laid feelings bare, piled 4 ppl on an air matress and rode waves that way, never went to sleep before 2 and pulled so many pranks on sleeping people it should be illeagal... hahaha rachel slept with a plunger... hahahaha

Some people think graduation is the end... but its just the beginning - many many more nights and weeks like North Carolina, friends, late nights, loud music, troooouble and laughs... it was a kickass time guys, next time lets go campin.